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Tweets of the Week - 1/4

A look at the best tweets from the world of UFC. Follow @ufc, the list of official UFC accounts, the list of UFC fighters and the list of Strikeforce fighters to keep up with these guys and gals. 
The Neeewww UFC Heavyweight Champion of the World –Again…
Thank you to all who support me. You gave me strength in the fight. -Cain Velasquez ‏

Fans at the airport welcome new champion Cain Velasquez back home... with mariachis http://youtu.be/KG2dECRNU3w  -UFC ‏

Adult Diapers, Aisle Three
Any establishment that sells diuretics but does not have a bathroom is just cruel #30minuteparkingenforcement -Ronda Rousey ‏

Sounds Like a Threat
@danhardymma when you coming back to vegas let's make some green drinks. I'll give you my bone broth recipe  -Forrest Griffin ‏

And a Time Machine
Someone bring me a zima.  -Scott Jorgensen ‏

 “@Scottjorgensen: Someone bring me a zima.” Haha and a Walkman  -Chris Camozzi ‏

Hot Yoga, It’s Totally Manly, Bro!
Heading to @hyi505 for some hot yoga with @CubSwanson @LilSteveSwanson new year resolution to get more flexible in my old age -Isaac Vallie-Flagg ‏

Nature or Nurture?
Why is she so weird? pic.twitter.com/aqpyEer5  -Matt Mitrione ‏

What About Unicorns?
Found this carved into the wood at my seat in a sushi restaurant im eating at http://instagr.am/p/UCwW00w0kB/  -Rory MacDonald ‏

More Atypical Graffiti
This is the kind of bathroom graffiti I like to see. pic.twitter.com/CSwFjCZY  -Amir Sadollah ‏

Guaranteed Awesome
Coming Jan 22 to FX http://bit.ly/ZYj3xm  -Dana White

Or Just Hungry
If I said I want to go to Sandwich Island, would you think I was crazy? #FactOfFiction  -Dan Hardy ‏

Like How You Roll, Mitch
I have a briefcase full of tacos, that's not a metaphor for anything, I just like tacos  -Mitch Clarke ‏

But He’s Not Wrong
I once heard @seanshelby say that "styles don't make fights, he & Joe Silva make fights". #cocky #ufc #mma  -Kenny Florian

Senior Discount Hookups, Bro!
Since I started to go to mass in the mornings, the average age of my new homies is significantly higher. -Danny Castillo

Way Better than, “I’m Clumsy”
#StoryBehindMyScar This crazy Brazilian got the best of me  -Cub Swanson

The Culmination of Your Life’s Work
Haven't had any partial nude toilet pics lately. I'm sorry for letting you guys down. Expect a zombie themed toilet pic soon. You're welcome -Daron Cruickshank ‏

Future “Cage Fighter”
Father of the year award http://instagr.am/p/T7QhLczFmE/ -Ian McCall ‏

That Catch-Phrase is so 2012!
@benfowlkesMMA @dannyboydownes I know, Bro. I know. Just let me bang, ok, bro? -Julie Kedzie ‏

You’ll Never Get in Tweets of the Week with Lame Tweets like…
Yo what's happening everybody!!! -Stipe Miocic ‏

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